My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
