it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
