hell yes lets make some ravioli
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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