The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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