i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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