"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
