is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize