their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
