he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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