Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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