Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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