OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He passed out mid-signature
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
