My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
