I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
