You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
