Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
