When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
