the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
