May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
