May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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