the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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