To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He passed out mid-signature
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize