your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
