I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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