i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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