Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
