Say something about gay babies.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
