looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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