Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
