At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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