Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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