No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
