We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
