I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
