I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
