in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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