I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
