hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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