It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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