i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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