It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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