It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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