Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
