so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
