so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
