ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize