I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
