i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
