and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
