you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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