Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
