i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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