I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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