boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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