I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
