No awkward lesbian experiences without me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
