Yo dont text me then not text me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
