I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
