Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
