what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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