a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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