In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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