Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
