her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
