hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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