So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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