This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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