How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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