it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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