I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
