she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
