my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
