Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize