hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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