Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
