there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
