remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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