i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
