The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
