Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
